Parting shots: Ode to two great reality villains
May 9th, 2008 | Posted in Farmer Wants a Wife, Top Model
Two of The CW’s best-ever drama queens were handed their walking papers last night. One refused to walk. Farmer Wants a Wife evictee Josie unloaded on country boy Matt—right in front of the stunned townies at bingo night. Saying he wanted a female farmhand, not a wife, Josie yelled that he didn’t have anything to offer a girl…then declared she wasn’t leaving ‘til Matt gave her a “departing gift.” The blubbery, unattractive blonde (who fancies herself “a 10-plus”) brought more laughs to a reality show than any contestant I can ever remember. Josie’s views on politics, work, money, love, decorating, the elderly—well, just about anything—were so outrageous, she became the train wreck you couldn’t look away from. Someone, please give this girl a weekly half-hour forum to voice her thoughts; it’ll be appointment TV for many. America’s Next Top Model axed Columbus native Dominque, who made few friends with a pushy persona and third-person references to herself. Some likened her strong facial features to a transvestite, but even Tyra admitted that as the weeks wore on, Dominique took some great photos. Among the final four, arguments could be made that she was more attractive than plus-sizer Whitney, ultra-thin Fatima, and ditzy Anya. But the Buckeye gal took her elimination with class, saying she felt like a winner for advancing this far. Who will survive next week’s final TV commercial challenge? My upset prediction: Whitney.
In New York, Jeanine Pirro has challenged the big boys in statewide races. Hillary Clinton. Andrew Cuomo. Her supporters have included Donald Trump, Gov. George Pataki and Tommy Hilfiger. Opponents marvel at her ability to dodge the many controversies that have followed her 30-year legal career. And they’ll all be really interested to see this political celebrity doling out justice afternoons this fall on The CW. Judge Jeanine Pirro joins WB comedy vets The Wayans Bros. and The Jamie Foxx Show in September to form the network’s new 3-5pm weekday lineup. Ms. Pirro was the first woman to be elected Judge and later District Attorney in storied Westchester County, where she gained exposure working on high-profile domestic abuse cases. Five years ago, she authored To Punish and Protect: One DA’s Fight Against a System That Coddles Criminals, a book endorsed by none other than Judge Judy Sheindlin. Pirro’s tell-all “debunks the psychobabble of excuses for criminals, and it serves as a battle cry for the rights of victims. I knew I liked Jeanine Pirro’s style—now I am a fan,” Sheindlin writes. Jamie Foxx and Shawn and Marlon Wayans established themselves as TV stars on The WB Network, with each of their series reaching the 100-episode plateau. They’ve gone on to enjoy tremendous success on the big-screen, as well. The verdict on this upcoming afternoon block? Looks like a winner.
“I killed someone.” And with those final words last night, Serena took Gossip Girl to a wild new level of intrigue. Best episode of the season? Oh yeah. Michelle Trachtenberg, as Georgina Sparks, in just two weeks has become a soap villainess in the vein of legendary “mean queens” Joan Collins and Heather Locklear. Her sweet smile masks a sordid agenda, which for starters has included drugging, outing, creating duel identities, boyfriend-stealing…oh, and secretly videotaping the crime Serena confessed to Blair. For blackmailing, of course. This show is the gold standard for escapist dramas: fast-paced storylines and jaw-dropping moments. Later in the evening, One Tree Hill offered up one fiery exchange when Nate told his (supposedly) dying father, the convicted murderer Dan, that he was no longer a part of their family. An irate Dan then hurled his drink into the wall, giving us a glimpse of the old villain this show really needs him to be. With Brooke fussing over the baby, Lucas pining for Lindsey, Peyton and Haley recording music, and Mouth and Millicent being Mouth and Millicent, Dan is the one polarizing character that ignites strong emotion. We crave more scenes like the hilarious, biting encounter last week between Dan, his ex-wife Deb and the creepy clown. There are only two episodes remaining this season for each of these can’t-miss Monday serials, and you just know the theatrics will be amped up even further. 
Top Model and Pussycat Dolls hit homeruns for different reasons last night. In the PCD climax, suspicious minds wondered if more than three hotties would elude the final cut to be in Girlicious. Charlye has such an impressive alto voice, it’s a shame she just couldn’t work with divas Natalie and Chrystina. After team and individual performances, the judges named Tiffanie and Nichole to the new pop group and waved bye-bye to Charlye, setting up a heart-thumping showdown between BFFs Nat and Chrys. Screams and tears filled the stage when Robin Antin declared that “three girls are good, but four are Girlicious!” Click 
The Pussycat Dolls panel spared everyone from elimination last week, setting up tomorrow’s big finale in which (supposedly) two of the five Girlicious contestants will have their dreams end. To have come this far, each girl has some measure of talent…some more than others. What Natalie lacks in vocals, she makes up for in schmoozability. Asked by judges Ron Fair and Robin Antin whether she could get along with any potential group members, she boasts, “I’m one of the most compatible people, I feel like, in the house, to be perfectly honest.” Wait, what?? Charlye has been moody and, at times, a weak singer; TPTB question her desire. Nichole seems very committed, and Tiffanie is as psyched for stardom as anyone in contention. She’s shown both a playful personality and a drive to make her group members excel. Then there’s Chrystina, who may be the hottest of the five girls (when made-up, that is); but she’s forgotten lyrics, tanked interviews, and sulked like a prima donna. So who are your picks, and what kind of success can Girlicious expect? Eden’s Crush, the first female group assembled on WBNX in the 2001 series Popstars, immediately posted both a Top 10 album and single, 
To say that Reaper returns with a vengeance may be understating things. Tomorrow night, in the first of five new episodes, the series zeroes in on a startling revelation: there’s an underground alliance of fallen angels planning to overthrow the devil! Can Sam’s mysterious neighbors, Steve and Tony, convince him to be their “insider” in the plot? Could it really be an escape clause in Sam’s soul-contract? Speaking of that document, why did Sam’s father burn part of it? And why has the devil forged a fatherly relationship with Sam? Expect answers to those questions and more, as the freshman drama-comedy-thriller makes a strong bid for another season. There’s not a more imposing network presence than Ray Wise, whose “sarcastic, but dangerous” portrayal of the devil has made him Reaper’s focal point. We’ve seen plenty of the 
Gossip Girl returns Monday with the first of five explosive new episodes, as the producers plan to ratchet up the drama level. Among those with unexpected plot twists are “Nate Archibald,” played by Chace Crawford. The 22-year-old’s looks have been compared with Idol rocker David Cook, among others…but he’s a near-ringer for actor Ian Somerhalder, whose rise to fame began on the WBNX summer series 
Maybe it’s the sunny spring weather that teased us last week, or a love for the simple country life. But I cannot wait for The CW’s campy new reality show, Farmer Wants a Wife, debuting in two weeks. Our advance publicity materials include the awesome 
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